


Would That I

by Timeforelfnonsense



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Crestwood (Dragon Age), F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 15:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timeforelfnonsense/pseuds/Timeforelfnonsense
Summary: Part of my Wasteland, Baby! Fics: Would That ISolavellanCrestwood breakupAngst





	Would That I

A cool breeze rustled the trees. Stone stags framed a picturesque waterfall tumbling softly down a cliff side. A smile creeping onto her cheeks, he wondered if she was recalling the first night they had spent together in a place not unlike this one. That had been part of the the reason he had bought her here. She’d hated Crestwood when they had first slogged out to the murky and mountainous village. There had been so much suffering there, so much lose. Too many people who needed her help and not enough time to go around. However, things settled somewhat in the months since they had last visited and this place was special, just like her.

“The veil is thin here. Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?” He asked, placing a hand to her face. She hummed her approval, pressing her cheek into his palm. They remained in silence for a moment, nothing but the sound of the bubbling water and their quite breath. He wanted to freeze this moment, paint a picture in his mind like the walls of Skyhold of. He memorized the softness of her beautiful green eyes, the constellations her freckles cast across her round face, the way her lose, snowy, ringlets fell down her back, “I was trying to determine someway to show you what you mean to me.”

She giggled, taking up both if his hand into her owns, “ That’s not necessary, Solas. You’re my…”

She stopped herself, casting her eyes to the ground, her cheeks glowing pink under twisting green vallaslin.

“That is the question, is it not?” He lifts her chin and offered her a gentle smile, the other hand squeezed her’s, “For now, the best gift I can offer… is the truth.”

She raised a curious eyebrow at the word truth and he swallowed hard.

“Oh? “ Her voice was honey, “Have you been dishonest with me, my heart?”

Her smile was light and flirtatious and so painfully real. He found conviction in her kindness, if anyone could understand it was surly her.

“You are unique” He responds at last, “In all of Thedas I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the fade. You have become important to me. More Important than I could have imagined.”

She smiled wide revealing the little space between her teeth he had come to adore. He felt her hands shaking in his and he tightens his grip.

“Solas, I care for you more than words can express. You have been the brightest spot in my life since I came to the Inquisition. You are brilliant beyond measure. You are kind and caring, always calm under pressure and... I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being.”

She was so good to him, better than he could ever deserve. Ashalle, lovely and kind beyond measure. She had given herself to him so completely, she deserved to have him in kind. Solas took a in a breath and looked deep into her eyes.

“Then what I must tell you… The truth…” He hesitated, her eyes still fixed on his. 

He knew he must tell her yet, how could he? He could not ask her to bear this burden. What if the awful truth sent her running? Would she understand?

He was not often at a loss for words but in that moment every word in every tongue he knew was gone. How do you tell someone you love you are the monster whose name their people spit like acid. He searched her face, looking for the right thing to say hidden in her doe-eyed gaze. He composed his thoughts and continued, “Your face, the vallaslin. In my journeys in the Fade, I have seen things. I have discovered what those marks mean.”

Her face was confused and unsure. She was staring past his words and into his very soul. He had told her a truth, just not the one he had set out to. It was better this way, he thought, he could remain Solas in her eyes and their love could remain.

“What do you mean,vhenan? These marks honer the elvhen gods, they mark me as a full member of my clan, as they have for generations.”

“No. they are slave markings, or at least they were in the time of ancient Arlathan.”

“So this is what? Just another thing the Dalish got wrong? We try to preserve our culture and this is what we keep! A relic of a time we were no better than Tevinter!” Tears fell down her cheeks. Her voice shook, “Was Abelas right? I am just a shadow in marks I do not understand?”

“Ashalle, don’t say that. Your people might not be perfect but, they have a spirit I admire. You strive to keep a memory of what was lost, warped though it may be.” He took her into his arms, “For all their faults, the Dalish did one thing right. They made you. I did not tell you this to hurt you. If you like I know a spell. I can take the vallaslin away.”

“I don’t know… These marks have been a part of me for so long…”

He saw the conflict pulling at her and he wonders if he made the right choice or if this was another truth that was better left unspoken.

“I know, and I am so sorry for causing you pain. It was selfish of me. I look and you and I see what you truly are, vibrant, free spirited, fearless, you are so much more than those cruel mark represent.”

She nodded, her face earnest, she spoke in what was hardly more than a whisper, “ We are the last Elvhen. Never again shall we submit… I am no one's slave, take the vallaslin away.”

He knelt before her in the soft grass and placed a reassuring kiss on her forehead. His palms radiated warm and blue as he took her face into his hands. He watched as the green thorns that once covered her face fell away into the light of his magic. He offered her a hand, helping her to her feet. He had removed countless vallaslin but, none had made him feel so much as this.

“ Ar lasa mala revas...You are free.” He paused and took her in, “You are so beautiful.”

He pulled her into a tender embarrass, wrapping his arms loosely around her hips. His lips fell onto her’s. His fingers tangle into her messy silver curls, his thumb traced the edge of her ear. Her love is blinding, intoxicating, a blazing fire he was happy to be consumed by. His free hands found her backside. She is rapturous and he is utterly her’s. When she held him tight he can feel the Dreadwolf slip away with the pain of what he has done. Perhaps, he had not broken the world if someone like her could exist. He kissed her deep, savoring the sweetness of her full lips and the smell of lavender and honeysuckle on her skin. He knew in that moment he could not bear his life without her. He’d stay with her, he’d find a way to protect her from Mythal, Corypheus, anything that would bring her harm. She was joy made flesh, kindness and heat personified. She was his home, his heart, his world.

When she broke the kiss his sense returned to him and he is faced with another awful truth.

‘What is it?” She reached for his face but he backed away. “My heart…” 

He was Fen'Harel, nothing could change who he was, even a love as sweet as hers. He had nearly forsaken himself for the sake of a woman’s love. No, he could not abandon his purpose, even for her.

“I distracted you from your duty and I’m sorry. It will not happen again.” His voice was measured and reserved. The way he spoke to other people...People that were not her. He watched her face twist from confusion to despair in a matter of moments.

“What? No. No, please, Solas don’t leave me. I love you…” She was sobbing, pleading as she reached for him.

“Vhenan, please,” He took another step away, arms outstretched to keep her back. He knew her touch would be too much and he’d once again fall for her charms, “You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world…”

She crumples to her knees, broken hearted and lost, “Why not this one?”


End file.
